I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
