I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
