who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
