so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
