i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
