u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
