I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's great music for shaving your balls
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
