just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize