oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
