Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
