I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
