i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
