I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
