Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
