Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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