i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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