WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The struggles of a small town man whore
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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