Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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