D3 body, D1 cock
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
