I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize