Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
