it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
