is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
