No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh god the rape fog is back!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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