He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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