yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
