He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize