i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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