did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
