Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize