Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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