I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
All the doctor said was why
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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