Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
