Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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