sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
