Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
