Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
