we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
