I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
