also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
