Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
