Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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