my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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