Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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