I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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