you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
