do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize