The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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