If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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