WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
