Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We got so high we made milksteak
Farmville is her only friend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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