Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
