? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize