Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
