Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize