she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
