Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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