Three words: puerto rican gang bang
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize