She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this boner is exhausting
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
