im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
