oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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