I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
