If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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