I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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