she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize