Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
