I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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