If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is my gift to your gina
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
