and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize