Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
