Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
