Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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