The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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