8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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